This blog post is a little overwhelming. I am a private person these days and the only reason I am ever online is to help with a research paper or search up a great recipe for something. But since I was asked, and I really feel so strongly about what I am writing I am willing to share.
Hi. My name is Tami Meacham. I am a mother of four awesome kids (1 daughter and 3 sons ages 6-16) and I am married to the love of my life and local high school PE Teacher/Varsity Basketball Coach. I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints my whole life and I have a strong belief & testimony about so many things. Tithing, the power of prayer, President Monson our latter day prophet & church leaders, families, Joseph Smith, the Scriptures, Temples, the Atonement and the list goes on and on. Today I wanted to tell you about one of the things that took me years to figure out but I finally did, and I am ever so grateful.
Several years ago I was having a deep life conversation with a friend of mine in the middle of my dance studio. At the time I had three of my children and I had been running a dance studio out of my house for 10 years. At this point in time the studio was large (for a home run place) and I had over 300 dance students. My friend was going on and on about how amazing it was that I was able to run a place like this, all while having a coach as a spouse (any wife of a coach knows exactly what I mean by that 😉 ), raising my babies with all the busy activities they were a part of, all the motherly duties that were expected of me and keeping on track with my church callings. I remember looking her in the eye and telling her…but there is more. I knew there was more I needed to do with every fiber of my being. After telling me that I was nuts, I then got a lecture from her about enjoying the journey, and stop and smell the roses, and just to be happy with what I had accomplished and where I was at in my life. I knew it was not enough. So here is what I did.
To save any reader of this post the lengthy stories of the next several years of my life I will just do my best to condense some of the main things that took place.
I had another baby.
We bought a second home, we moved into it. Then 6 months later we moved out all while we had TWO renters in our “dance studio” home, and yes I was still running the dance studio there…what was I thinking?!
We put renters in our second home.
I sold my dance studio.
I became a Certified Crossfit trainer, created and opened a successful Crossfit gym.
… and then I did it again (with my hubby this time) and created Crossfit Gym #2.
We moved Gym #1 into a commercial facility (it was in our home barn at the time).
We sold gym #2.
We hired a contractor and subdivided our home into a home and a lot.
We had our entire home remodeled.
We sold our lot.
We sold our home.
We had our small rental home renovated (remember that we had previously lived in for 6 months and then moved out?!) We then moved back into it…BIG CHANGE FOR ALL OF US!
We merged Gym #1 into another existing gym and I quit attending & training. My hubby is still there 3 days each week.
I turned 40.
That was a big one for me. Turning 40 has made me reflect on everything I have been through in my life at this point. I realized I had tried pretty much everything I could think of to you know, be somebody, contribute, be productive, fill in the blank when I say “Hi, My name is Tami I am a _________.” I was exhausted but now I had LAZOR BEAM focus! You see, what I came to realize through all my years of trying to be somebody, building business, creating, selling, and change is that I was missing out and had become so distracted from what I knew was my life’s calling. Don’t get me wrong, all the things I have been distracted with in my life have been good things, really. My testimony remained solid. But now I know that for me, there are “better” things. I will explain.
For the first time in my life I was able to make a conscious effort on how and where I spend my time. What an amazing gift! I realized, through all the productive chaos that was my life, that the main reason my Heavenly Father sent me here to this earth is to do one thing only, be a mother. That’s it. Just that. I have no other title to my name (although I will never ever get rid of the “former ballerina” title I am certain). I cannot think of another thing in this world that is more sacred, and fulfilling. Our Heavenly Father is putting His faith & trust in me with four of His children. He knows that they will teach me everything I need to know about becoming more like Him, if I will just stop, listen, learn and change. There is no greater calling in this world for me. This is my “but there’s more” that I had told my friend about years ago.
Here are a few of the “distractions” that I have eliminated from my life that I was talking about earlier. Remember I am now the master of my time and I will NEVER take that for granted again. I now spend the majority of my day inside my home. Oh how grateful I am to be able to do that! I cook..and cook some more, clean, fold laundry, do dishes, pay bills, and organize everything in sight. I wake my kids up; we have scripture study and family prayer each day. I make a hot breakfast and pack lunches for school. When kids come home I help with homework and sit in my car for hours on end running from one game or practice to another. I love every second of it. There was a time in my life where I had to hire “drivers” to take my kids to their activities. I had a hired cleaning lady because seriously when was I going to fit that in. I had hired tutors and readers for my kids, because again I was too busy. I have missed games, projects, test scores, school parties, etc. for so long…but not anymore! NOT ANYMORE! I now do it all.
The funny thing is I am still extremely busy, but for me what I am doing now is way better! I am completely off all social media. I have been now for some time. That is really the biggest gift I have given myself. It’s not a bad thing, but for me having nothing to do with any of it is better. I am now very selective when I get invited to lunch, showers, parties or gatherings of any kind, because for me unless the topic of conversation is worthwhile or uplifting, I am simply not interested. I am way too cheap and practical to be a shopper so unless there is a specific need I do not venture out. I love listening to old conference talks, crossfitting in my garage, running, biking, and I stay informed with the news. I rarely watch TV during the day but I like a good show now and then before bed. I or my hubby tucks our kids into their beds each night. And I do it all again day after day. I will never take for granted the time I have to spend as a mother, and when the time comes my new calling will be grandmother, hopefully!
I have always known this is what my Heavenly Fathers plan was for me…it took me a while to pin it down but I have now. I have been a “mother” to so many throughout my life. All the dance girls that came through my studio I loved each and every one of them. All the Young Women, Sunday School & Primary children I have associated with in my life, I love each of them! My CrossFit kids (and adults). Each one of my nieces and nephews, my children’s friends, the neighbor kids or all my hubby’s basketball boys through the years, I have loved them all and feel so grateful to have been influenced & taught by each of them.
I truly believe that you don’t have to have birthed children to be a mother. I have three sisters in my family that have never had children of their own (although one has now adopted two angels, and another has a step child) and they are FABULOUS people and mothers to my children and so many others. What a beautiful way to live your life. I cannot think of anything better. Rearing Gods children day after day to be valiant, strong, loyal, trustworthy, righteous, kind, loving, forgiving, generous, service oriented, and so much more all while they teach you how to soften your edges and become more like Him. I’m in! Laser Focused! SO grateful! Happy! I KNEW there was “more” I just needed to simplify to find it!